Can orgasms turn bad boys good?
Nice guys get laid … Nice gals fake orgasms … The oxytocin-rich milk of human kindness … A cure for the common asshole … These news flashes and more in this week’s Sex in the Press.
Nice guys don’t finish last, but finish more often
A welcoming title for all you non-assholes out there: ‘New study: nice guys have more sex’.
‘Some say life has a way of compensating good behaviour. They’ll argue that before you get, you should be willing to give. Those who haven’t yet jumped on that bandwagon might want to try, because the universe seems to have rewarded those who have with one spectacular gift: lots of sex.’
In other words, altruism – giving without expecting anything in return – apparently gets you more orgasms, more casual sex partners and more sex within a long-term relationship.
And while this seems to be true for both sexes, it’s truer for males.
What’s wrong with a bit of selfishness in the name of pleasure?
Do women finish last?
Curiously, while men seem to gain more orgasms from being nice, ‘women are instinctively more selfless than men,’ according to ‘Women may be naturally more altruistic than men’.
Various studies have shown that women tend to give more to charities and are more willing to share their money with others.
‘We live in a society where women are expected to be altruistic, much more so than men,’ says an author of the study. ‘So women suffer more negative consequences for not being altruistic, which leads them to develop intuitive responses that favour generosity.’
Perhaps such an ingrained sense of generosity helps explain why the main reason women fake orgasms is out of concern for their partner’s feelings, according to ‘Why women fake orgasms during sex (according to some scientists)’.
However, the second main reason women fake orgasms is to enhance their own arousal. ‘Pretending to enjoy sex can actually make the whole experience more pleasurable, research published in the Journal of Sexual Archives concluded.’
And really, what’s wrong with a bit of selfishness in the name of pleasure?
Being nice is indeed not all nice.
Nice and selfish
Being nice is indeed not all nice, according to ‘The man who proved that altruism is selfish’.
‘Altruism is nothing to do with a warm glow. The biological meaning of altruism is to do with reducing the number of offspring you have in your lifetime and simultaneously increasing the number of offspring another individual has in their lifetime.’
In other words, being nice may not actually help you in directly passing on your traits to future generations, but it may help your relatives to pass on their traits – many of which you may share.
The American scientist George Price came up with the equation that correctly predicts such selfless/selfish ‘group selection’ – where individuals may die, but the group lives on stronger than ever.
Ironically, Price would later have a religious conversion that led him to live his life as altruistically as possible.
‘But disaster ensued. Obsessed with the concept of selflessness, Price took in the homeless and was eventually reduced to living in a squat. Finally, in January 1975, he took his own life, cutting his carotid artery with a pair of nail scissors.’
Sometimes nice guys do finish last.
Some scientists believe that a Viagra-like pill can be developed that pumps up our niceness, and thereby offering a cure for the common asshole.
Bye-bye bad boy?
‘The areas of brain that are lighting up during altruistic donations are actually the same ancient parts of the brain that are activated in response to food, sex and material gains,’ according to ‘Neurological basis of altruism’.
And like food, sex and material gains, giving gives pleasure.
Studies also show that people tend to donate more to charities when more oxytocin is rushing through their systems, according to ‘Oxytocin increases social altruism’.
‘The ‘cuddle hormone’ oxytocin strengthens social ties: In persons newly in love, during sex and during breastfeeding, the level of this hormone is particularly high.’
So it seems we are biologically programmed to care about each other.
Some scientists believe that a Viagra-like pill can be developed that pumps up our niceness, and thereby offering a cure for the common asshole.
But perhaps assholes don’t need a pill. Perhaps assholes just need to be more selfish and seek out more orgasms – by being nice.
Do you believe in the power of nice orgasms? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook. If you have any questions, visit our discussion board.