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Alphonce Omondi

Should I go back to my abusive boyfriend?

By Valentine Njoroge February 24, 04:34 pm
My guy hits me often. Afterwards, he feels sorry and I don't want to leave him. His parents have warned him about beating me. Should I go back to him?

He will never stop

Oh honey, of course, you should get back with this man. You should commit to a toothless life of being beaten regularly. He is after all so sorry that he cannot stop himself. He loves you so much that he wants to make sure that you are in pain both physically and emotionally. He will continue to love you in this violent way because even though his parents have warned him, he respects them enough to continue beating you. Once you have children, he will beat them too and yours will be the household that people point at as a warning and say 'do not end up with a crazy man like that one'.

Leave now

Seriously, you must leave him. Do not look back, do not send a text message, and do not have a conversation to tell him that you are leaving. Just go. Run to a friend’s house and stay there for a few weeks if you can. Do not speak to him for at least three months. Run.

Abusive relationships are like a drug. The highs and lows are so emotionally draining that nobody gets out of it without help. Do not try to be the hero thinking that you can talk this man into letting you leave him amicably. Just leave.

You deserve better

In a few months, you can start asking yourself the hard questions: why are you willing to consider staying with a man who treats you this way? What is it about him that you find so attractive? Are you addicted to drama? How have you created this relationship?

You are not responsible for his behaviour but you are responsible for forgiving him and staying with him.

I am sorry that this has happened to you, it is very painful. I really recommend that you do not get into a new relationship until you figure out the answers to these questions. Professional counselling can really help you with this.
Good luck.

Related: Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships?

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Did you learn something new?

Mon, 03/23/2015 - 09:47 pm
An abusive rlship is not healthy,i had 1 whom we courted for six yrs then married for two yrs n he was always drunkard but used the words 'i luv even tho i take bear'to an xtent n make the matter worse he was an AP n later he was expelled out of job n from there i left for the better of ma lyf lather than sharing with a less lyf care
Isaiah Moenga
Wed, 06/03/2015 - 06:51 pm
I tend to agree to my conscience that love is grounded in the heart.You may break up for a reason or two,bt still,the quote remains..u r connected heart to heart...
Isaiah Moenga
Wed, 10/14/2015 - 10:36 pm
Goin' back to tht person you call a boyfriend is a faint shadow of reality! That means you are desperate for him. He's as well enjoyin your input to tryin to keep the rlshp at bay. He knows no matter what,you cant walk away. Try a new trick- goin silent_no contact, for a generous duration of time. If he wl come for you, then wat the hell?
lhusenge wisely
Thu, 11/17/2016 - 05:02 pm
Sometimes,we men its like we do things accidentally But since it has happened for several times,i advise you to let go and move on Life is worth waiting for...
we are new marieds wz one son, he has a gal en told m she z jst a frend. one nyt, they cam at hom at 9 pm en told m they a going out, they went together en left m hom, on returning, he cam alone at 6am. wen i askd him, he bet m. weneva we a discusng, he brings a story about ha.wen i say anything, he bits m.plz help
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