One hand gripping another, a symbol for sexual violence
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I was raped by my girlfriend and her friends

Kinyua had never had sex with his girlfriend. Then, she lured him to a ‘surprise party’. The surprise was on him: he was raped by her and two others, as they laughed.

‘I  thought that rape was meant for women and if men were sexually abused it would be by other men. How terribly wrong I was! My friends often talked about the pleasure of sex but the Christian in me kept warning me that I should keep it for my wedding night. My girlfriend was – or so I thought – very supportive of this idea.’

Mounting interest

‘The closest I touched her was with an occasional peck on her cheek. But lately she spoke a lot about sex and when I questioned her, she told me that she has been reading a lot and had been watching a lot of Mexican soaps. I reminded her that it isn’t right to watch or read anything that can make us desire to have illegitimate sex. At this, she always gave me that beautiful smile that first attracted me to her so long ago in our early teens.

‘The two of us had just been admitted to the University and we were looking forward to leaving home. We would often take long morning walks chatting about our futures in and after university. Of course, this was seasoned with how much we would miss each other since we were not admitted to the same university.’

Set up

‘On that Saturday, she looked very excited when she picked me at my home. ‘Today is Lydia’s birthday and we want to give her a surprise party,’ she had said. So I went with her to Wanjeri’s house where the ‘surprise’ would be. The surprise turned out to be mine. Wanjeri was a year ahead of us in high school and had gotten a job as a teacher in a nearby secondary school. She had therefore rented a very small house near the shopping centre.

‘When we got to Wanjeri’s house, Wanjeri and Awinja were seated on the bed. There were no other seats. There were no preambles either.’

Humiliation

‘After the three women exchanged knowing glances, my girlfriend started kissing me and before I knew it the others had started caressing me all over. Men from where I come from don’t scream so I tried to fight back. But my blows were only feeble as Awinja pinned me down and my girlfriend started undressing me. She climbed on first and I could feel myself inside her. Then followed a sensation I cannot describe. I must have let out a scream for they all burst out laughing. The other two followed suit. By now I was not even resisting. Neither did I get the sensation again.

‘As soon as they got off me, I dressed like crazy and ran wildly out of the room to the sound of sarcastic laughter. No one was at my home so I locked myself in my room and cried.

I felt dirty and violated but was too ashamed to even tell a counsellor about this ordeal.

I now hate all women. The only one I now trust is my mother.’


Have you ever had an experience like Kinyua’s? Leave a comment or join the discussion on Facebook, where you can find us at Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

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Recent Comments (71)

  1. I haven’t gone through such
    I haven’t gone through such but thank God u were not restrained inside that cage

    1. Hi Joshua, thanks for your
      Hi Joshua, thanks for your comment

  2. Oooh!!Very disgursting#u dont
    Oooh!!Very disgursting#u dont need to hate women/>.U wil once need to marry!

    1. Hi Chris, thanks for your
      Hi Chris, thanks for your comment!

  3. she was his girlfriend how
    she was his girlfriend how could she rape him? is the lady normal? Bt all mr. plz dont hate women coz we are all equal, my self i lov women

    1. Hi pascal, it’s possible for
      Hi pascal, it’s possible for a woman to rape a man. Just like it happens to women in relationships, it can happen to men. Consent, or saying yes, to sex is just as important in relationships as it is in any other situation. Both partners have to agree to sex, it can’t happen against the will of the other, then it’s rape.

        1. We appreciate your…

          We appreciate your contribution Bob.

  4. Finally u were a real man don
    Finally u were a real man don’t be in awe .

    1. Hi Sly, being prayed has
      Hi Sly, being prayed has nothing to do with being a real men. Unfortunately, In many cultures, it’s considered impossible for a man to get raped. But the fact is, it can happen.

  5. I was lured into sex by a
    I was lured into sex by a neighbor@16 and lived to hate it till I married a few years ago….

    1. Pole Sammy. I hope you are no
      Pole Sammy. I hope you are no longer hating it…

  6. I get ths as a surprise ladys
    I get ths as a surprise ladys raping a dude i cant buy that i think he wanted it

    1. Hi Daniel, this is the
      Hi Daniel, this is the biggest problem when it comes to rape and violence against men. It exists, but people have a difficult time believing it. But it’s dangerous to think that maybe he wanted it. The fact is, as long as he said ‘no’ he didn’t give his consent. And without consent, sex is rape, whether it’s a man or a woman. If a man gets an erection or a woman gets wet, it’s easy to say, ‘yeah, well, maybe he or she really wanted it.’ We need to accept that ‘no’ means ‘no’, no matter who it is or in which situation.

  7. Sori for the odeal. B strng n
    Sori for the odeal. B strng n knw out yhea is a woman waiting to b loved by u. Don give up n pray tht God softens ua heart to trusting again

    1. Thank you for your very kind
      Thank you for your very kind words, Martha!

  8. Not al women are wicked you
    Not al women are wicked you wil find who will love for who you are

    1. Hi Mercy,

      Hi Mercy,
      awww, you are so right! Thanks for your comment!

  9. dude man up….i know u feel
    dude man up….i know u feel bad about it but you would have eventually had sex. If i were you i would stop complaining and go see a doctor to get checked if i got infected with who knows what

    1. Hi George,

      Hi George,
      Good call on the check-up suggestion.
      But please keep in mind: sex without consent (saying yes) is rape, no matter if you are a man or a woman.

  10. Mayb the girl had a strong
    Mayb the girl had a strong feelings….i cnt blame the girl bt blame her feelings

    1. Hi Nicholas,

      Hi Nicholas,
      could you explain some more what you mean by blaming her feelings? We are curious!

  11. Never kep up!!..rise again n
    Never kep up!!..rise again n b strong live is ful of temptations.

  12. Sori 4 the ordeal brother.bt
    Sori 4 the ordeal brother.bt dnt let go of ua christianity jus coz u feel dirty.remember GOD assured us that even though we may b sinners or dirty,he will wash us n will be clean and as white as snow.

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Qarol.

  13. hi am ondieki for aman to
    hi am ondieki for aman to enter inside awoman’s body you must elect how will you enter if you were not prepaed cycologically

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      we are not quite sure what you mean, could you explain some more, please?

  14. for aman to enter inside
    for aman to enter inside awoman’s body you must elect how will you enter if you were not prepaed cycologically

  15. Hi my brother, 4 give your
    Hi my brother, 4 give your gal & don’t hate women, coz after rol u will get maried,it was just feelings i thot she loved u so much.

    1. Hi Makwata,

      Hi Makwata,
      thank you very much for your comment.

  16. Be strong its nt e end of the
    Be strong its nt e end of the world,jst have the courage to move on wth your life

    1. Thanks for your comment and
      Thanks for your comment and input!

  17. Be strong its nt e end of the
    Be strong its nt e end of the world,jst have the courage to move on wth your life

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Godknows.

  18. Man just forgive them and
    Man just forgive them and move on stil u have life to live.May God help you to start a new life pole.

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Jacob.

  19. wah!!!its so shameful…hope
    wah!!!its so shameful…hope u are alright…continue blvn in God n surely Hes got a way out…..

    1. Thank you for your support!
      Thank you for your support!

  20. phew… I wouldn’t even mind
    phew… I wouldn’t even mind being raped by my galfwend as long as there is protection… .sounds sweet.. 😀

    1. Prince Charming,

      Prince Charming,
      that is a very dangerous thing to say. Sex without consent is wrong, and we all need to remember that.

  21. kinyua am rily sorry that
    kinyua am rily sorry that happened to you.We pray one day you’ll learn to appreciate women.We are you with in prayers

    1. Thank you for your support,
      Thank you for your support, Otivo.

  22. Sorry Kinyua for what
    Sorry Kinyua for what happened to you,be petience it will pays you back.

    1. Thank you for showing support
      Thank you for showing support, Kinyua.

    1. Sorry, Erick, but men can be
      Sorry, Erick, but men can be raped as well. These are serious matters.

  23. Hi,dont feel bad about
    Hi,dont feel bad about yourself,may God help you to overcome your past &forcus on future.For sure it’s hard to tell pple about such,by we thank God for the courage you got,revealing tht you are now letting go the past!Cheeres & go for your future.

  24. ooh sory bt hatng womens that
    ooh sory bt hatng womens that is not the right choice to made, bt for what ican just say is that you wll going jst to have one who luvs u and the person who wll care abt you

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Patrick.

  25. Oh my gosh, that’s horrendous
    Oh my gosh, that’s horrendous, I am so sorry you went through that. May God give you the strength you need to rise above it. If you read this, then know that prayer has positive effect and that there are good counselors who would want to help.

  26. You were not raped , more
    You were not raped , more like forced into a 3some to me.

    1. Hi Job, that is what is
      Hi Job, that is what is called being raped. Being forced into an act of sex unwillingly.

  27. may God 4giv dem coz they did
    may God 4giv dem coz they did what they didnt know even u, u’ve to forgive them en pray to God to give u da right person to love u in future.

    1. Thank you for your thoughts
      Thank you for your thoughts and input Ruth.

    2. Thank you for your thoughts
      Thank you for your thoughts and input Ruth.

  28. am so sorry brother. take
    am so sorry brother. take heart and move on with life

    1. Thanks for offering your
      Thanks for offering your support Kalikanda.

  29. The story is cooked dear adm!
    The story is cooked dear adm!!i have never seen any lady coming out of an erect p***is to allow another lady what they do is to sink deeper till it becomes flaccid(ejaculation)anyway im entertained.

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Haram,

      Thank you for your thought, we do hope though that sharing helps someone.

  30. Men you are funny, so you
    Men you are funny, so you were born without sex, you don’t think every body has a mind like yours, “to be virgin till marriage” you are kidding right?

    1. (No subject)
      Hi,

      I am not sure this is the thinking of all men, but thank you for your comment.

  31. i was loured by neighbor @16
    i was loured by neighbor @16 2watch porn this days iam an addict

  32. Accept ,learn to love en…
    Accept ,learn to love en move on.love is sweet.

    1. We appreciate your…
      We appreciate your contribution.

  33. Oh, you poor dear. I hope…
    Oh, you poor dear. I hope you are recovering. What they did to you was the worst and unfairest thing one can ever do to another human being. Just know that it wasn’t your fault and not all women are like that. I really hope you find peace soon. God will still love you. Bless you xx

    1. Hello Victoria, thank you…

      Hello Victoria, thank you for your contribution, we appreciate.

  34. Wow. She’d have done you a…
    Wow. She’d have done you a favor. Only weirdos wait to get married. I would LOVE to have 3 aggressive women take me on at once.

  35. Thank you so much for your…

    Thank you so much for your feedback MattShizzle. Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

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