Fighting: do's and dont's
Jeppe Schilder

Fighting in relationships: do’s and dont’s

How many couples have you met that have never argued? Chances are – none! Rows are unavoidable in intimate relationships.

Tiffs can turn ugly, but they can also bring people closer together. But the way you argue has an impact on the outcome – so fight fair!

  • Listen and respect

    Do pay attention to your partner’s position, no matter how strongly you believe you’re right. A fair fight is one in which both parties have equal air time. If you’re yelling at the top of your voice 90 percent of the time or your partner is shouting at you for majority of the fight, it isn’t fair.

  • Criticise constructively

    Always deliver points that will eventually help build a stronger relationship. In a fight, we often get carried away by emotions and there’s little room left for constructive thinking.

    In such moments, remind yourself that the argument is only one tiny event in your important relationship and shift your focus towards constructive criticism.

  • Mean what you say

    When we’re under pressure we often take it out on the people we’re closest too. So if a row is brewing and you’re the one starting it, think whether it’s your partner that’s really the source of your annoyance, or is it your boss, your bad day, or your money worries.

    Before the fight gets started, take a deep breath and wonder if you really have something to argue about. Don’t end up saying something to your partner that you’ll regret just because you’re stressed out for some other reason.

  • Make up afterwards

    Recovery from a fight can take time – sometimes days or even weeks – depending on the severity of the row. Do your bit to make a smoother transition. And make it as soon as possible. Let your partner know you still love him or her despite your differences.

    Leave a note on the refrigerator or get some flowers. A big hug is probably even better. Or how about some racy sex? Making up after a fight is essential to return to normality.

  • Get abusive

    Never get physically or emotionally abusive with your partner while arguing. If you hit your partner, they might give in but only because they are scared or frightened.

    And don’t get into name-calling. By putting your partner into a stereotype, you only end up angering and hurting them. Think how you would feel if your partner did the same to you? Also, if you continue telling your partner that they are, let’s say, ‘good-for-nothing,’ not only will they start behaving in a way that they fit into that stereotype, the fear is that you could start believing it too.

  • Make threats

    At all costs avoid making emotional threats like, ‘If you leave me, I will hurt myself,’ or ‘If you carry on like this, it’s over.’ This will just force your partner into a corner and leave matters unresolved.

    Of course, you or your partner might really think you’ve reached the end of the line. This doesn’t call for wild threats, but serious talk and respect for the other person’s view – even if it breaks your heart.

  • Stone-wall

    Don’t evade answers to important questions. Don’t avoid discussions, arguments or conflicts fearing the outcome. Learn how to tackle them maturely using the above tips and stop running away from fights. If you don’t involve yourself in a discussion, it could leave your partner dissatisfied and result in an unhappy relationship.

  • Go to sleep on an argument

    Finally, it’s an old cliché, but you’ll feel much better if you manage to make up before bedtime, even if you haven’t settled your differences.

    What’s more there’s even science to back it up. Sleep researchers discovered that bad emotional experiences get worse in your memory if you go to sleep before you’ve got back into a better mood. So push yourself to snap out of the sulk and reach out for that cuddle!


    Have you got something to add to the list? Leave a comment here or join the discussion on Facebook.

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Recent Comments (123)

  1. its always good to fight a
    its always good to fight a good fight which will resolve matters

    1. Hi Billy,

      Hi Billy,
      thanks for your comment!
      Yes, sometimes a fight can help. But it’s all about fighting ‘the right way’! :-).
      Do you agree?

  2. i was married to an abusive
    i was married to an abusive husband,but i chose to perservire thinking one day he would change.but thinking about it now,i made a choice to leave and start a new life alone,am happier and depresion all women who are out there please make a choice before it becomes fatal for you to see your children growing up.

    1. Dear Shantel,

      Dear Shantel,
      thank you very much for sharing your story!
      It’s good to hear that you got out of an abusive relationship and that you are happy and healthy now!
      Keep it up!

    2. I agree with you. Sometimes…
      I agree with you. Sometimes quiting is the best for the future and also for one’s self love. I always say some relationships are slow suicide .

      1. Thank you Marie and we…

        Thank you Marie and we appreciate your contribution.

  3. we fought n it became worst!
    we fought n it became worst!

    1. Hi Den,

      Hi Den,
      oh no! How did that happen?

  4. I’m in the same problem now,
    I’m in the same problem now, we argued with ma gal and now she seem to be bored; Help me….

    1. Hi Gervin,

      Hi Gervin,
      sorry to hear about that!
      The best way to get to the bottom of things is to talk to her. Wait until you both have cooled down, and then sit down together in a private place and talk about your relationship. Tell her you are concerned that she is bored. Ask her if she is happy or lacking anything in your relationship. Be open and honest. Also tell her if something is bothering you.
      Good relationships are all about communication and compromise.
      Good luck!

  5. thanks for the article.
    thanks for the article..bearing in mind that pple sv great diversities,ee should try our best to handle each other gently in r/ships..

    1. Hi Lucy, yes, that’s true!
      Hi Lucy, yes, that’s true!

  6. Thank you for the information
    Thank you for the information. I am married and i must admit i have been doing the ‘don’ts’, but am gonna change.

    1. Hi Silvia,

      Hi Silvia,
      thanks, it’s great to hear that reading the article has had such a positive impact on you!
      Good luck!

  7. Thank you for the information
    Thank you for the information. I am married and i must admit i have been doing the ‘don’ts’, but am gonna change.

  8. I always argue with her every
    I always argue with her every night and we usually sleep without resolvng this… She always gets angry over petty issues. Maybe she is no longer interested anymore

    1. Hi Ryt,

      Hi Ryt,
      arguing every day isn’t good. Go sit down with your lady and have a talk about your relationship. Maybe she is not happy with something, and that’s why she gets angry with petty issues?

  9. I have a boyfriend who we had
    I have a boyfriend who we had an argument,does it mean he never loves me?

    1. Hi Kally,

      Hi Kally,
      arguments are normal in a relationship. Sometimes, they just happen. It doesn’t mean that your bf doesn’t love you. Talk about it and try to resolve the issue!
      Good luck!

  10. My parter and i fight at
    My parter and i fight at times,and later make up like little kids.I like those little arguements they bring us closer.

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      awww, that’s sweets! Just try to not fight too often!

  11. wonderful advice.i hate
    wonderful advice.i hate arguments.they make me sick coz every person wants to prove they are right.feels so bad.thanks anyway

    1. Hi Florrie,

      Hi Florrie,
      thanks, it’s good to hear that you like our advice!

  12. thanx am hapi 2 read dz
    thanx am hapi 2 read dz article

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      great, we like it when our audience likes it :-)!

  13. I hav a boyfrnd and we luve
    I hav a boyfrnd and we luve each other so much,he in compus and there was i day i found out that he is dating another lady,but when i asked him he told me that he is not serious with the lady and am the one who means everything to i was worried thay mayb he doent love me anymore.what should i do?

    1. Hi Emmy,

      Hi Emmy,
      sorry to hear that you are in such a tricky situation!
      I think you have all the reasons to be worried. Dating someone else, serious or not, while he says he loves you doesn’t sound very honest. So you need to have a good talk with your boyfriend and tell him that if he is in a relationship with you, he shouldn’t date other people. See what his reaction is and take it from there!
      Good luck!

  14. We always confront each other
    We always confront each other like everyday and when it cames to noticing abt my polish,new dress,or anyway makeup he dosent see.Bt for other ladies he notice

    1. Hi Judy,

      Hi Judy,
      men can be a little blind sometimes. Or, they notice it, but won’t say anything.
      If it really bothers you, tell him. But I suggest that you should focus on the good things in your relationship, rather than getting mad over nail polish.

  15. I don’t know how to argue i.e
    I don’t know how to argue i.e talk bck while she’s talking. I walk away and out of the r/ship. Arguing disgusts me tht much, does tht mean something’s wrong with me?

    1. Awww, Herbert, there is
      Awww, Herbert, there is nothing wrong with you!
      Arguing is hard and difficult, but sometimes it’s useful! And you can learn it!
      So next time you have an argument, just listen. Don’t walk away. If you feel uncomfortable talking, write down some of your arguments and present that to your girlfriend.
      Or practice with a friend. A fake argument will teach you how to react.
      Arguments are normal, and, as I said, sometimes useful when it comes to working things out in our relationships. So don’t walk away and out- fight!

  16. I agree to the truth bout
    I agree to the truth bout arguments r normal in a rltionship,,bt a query at hand z,,wat if both partners hve tht pride tht one cnt approach the other for a make up afta the argument,,wats the way to go??

    1. Hi DJ Patz,

      Hi DJ Patz,
      yep, that’s tricky!
      Well, one of you has to give it. There is no way around it. And sometimes, the person to admit that he/she was wrong, will walk away the bigger man/woman.
      Being stubborn and proud will get you nowhere, so it’s better to make the first step and make up. Plus, your partner might reward you with make-up sex- and who wouldn’t like that ;-)?

  17. have a boyfrnd who rarely or
    have a boyfrnd who rarely or totally never gives me a chance to talk whenever we argue n in his arguments he is too abusive emotionally.i feel tht av had enough of it n recently walked out of the hez begging me to be back but am afraid he will never change n the cycle will repeat itself.please advise.

    1. Hi Georgina,

      Hi Georgina,
      you can be proud for walking out of an emotionally abusive relationship.
      Now he wants you back- the questions is, do you still want him? If you don’t, forget it! If you do, you can give it another try. But lay some ground rules first, tell him why you walked out, what is bothering you and that he needs to change. And that he only gets one more chance. If he becomes abusive again, you walk away. You have done it already, so he knows it won’t be an empty threat!
      And it you are not sure, try to be friends for a while. Let him spoil you and be nice to you. And then take it from there!
      Don’t get pressured into something you don’t want. Take your time and do what you want!

  18. I’ve tried talking 2 a grown
    I’ve tried talking 2 a grown man n he has refused 2 listen,am tired n done with him.

    1. Hi Di,

      Hi Di,
      it’s hard, but sometimes walking away is the best thing you can do! A relationship is about compromise and trust and respect, and if they aren’t there, there it’s better to make a clean cut. Well done.

  19. My man we dont live together,
    My man we dont live together, thus he calls me a deceiver. Bt i have never deceivd him. Bt am always down to earth coz i love him. What do i do to proff it to him. Advice me pls.

    1. Hi Solidad,

      Hi Solidad,
      that’s a bit harsh! Have you ever talked to him about it? Because I can imagine that it hurts your feelings! Talk to him, tell him that you love him, and that you have never deceived him and that he needs to trust you. Ask him if he trusts you, and see what he says. Be nice and respectful, don’t yell and shout. But either way, you two need to talk!

  20. i had a guy bt passed away n
    i had a guy bt passed away n felt mo than pain n lived a cngle lyf bt crying painfully weneva i remembered my lvly guy n i decided to date so as to try n foget n i got another guy bt his ex gf abuses me so much n wen i ask the guy whether thy r stl together he says no bt he has her photos n stil uploads them in fb hw cn u help me?

    1. Phioner, I’m so sorry to hear
      Phioner, I’m so sorry to hear that! It’s good that you started dating again, but I hope you have given yourself enough time to grieve.
      And unfortunately, it sounds like your current guy still have some attachment to his ex. So you need to talk to him about it, and that you don’t like his ex abusing you. Ask him to help you with this situation, and see what his reactions are and where it takes you from there! Good luck!

  21. i have a boyfiee and we have
    i have a boyfiee and we have gone extra wen he joined campus this may,he has never talked to me since then.wen i text him,he replies after two/three days.wen i cam him,he does not receive my calls.he threatens mi,that many girls are after i part ways with him?/what do i do?

    1. I’m so sorry Mercie, sounds
      I’m so sorry Mercie, sounds like you are going through a hard time. And it seems that your boyfriend changed since joining campus. The best thing to do would be to talk to him about it face-to-face if that’s possible. Explain to him why is behavior hurts you and that, if he wants you to stay together, he needs to change. If he is not willing to have this conversation, it might be better to let him go.

  22. I really shout when i am in
    I really shout when i am in an argument plz help.and my bf is 33yrz an am 20 of age, he is a mr know _it_ all he is like he knws it all and doesnt want to see my right side at times..plz help

    1. Violet, you need to get the
      Violet, you need to get the yelling under control! Shouting destroys your credibility. Your boyfriend will be much more likely to listen if you present your ideas in a calm way. It can very very frustrating to be with someone who knows it ‘all’. But if you present him with logical ways of thinking and don’t get upset by it, you have a much better chance of winning an argument. Good luck!

  23. we fought mch,,,,end up brkin
    we fought mch,,,,end up brkin up,,,,,

    1. Hi Usain,

      Hi Usain,
      sorry to hear that! Sometimes things unfortunately just don’t work out…

  24. These are one good facts,but
    These are one good facts,but for only matured couple,and that is mentally mature. Thanks for the notes again.!

    1. Hi Angie,

      Hi Angie,
      what kind of tips would you give other couples?

  25. Me my we argue like on a
    Me my we argue like on a daily basis at times i just ignore the argument n walk out fact is a love her and i want to settle down wit this gal but sometimes i get tired of arguments to a point i sleep outside to let things cool bt to no avail i just hate the situation

    1. Hi Sam,

      Hi Sam,
      I might feel like the best idea to walk away at times, but sometimes, it isn’t. You need to resolve your arguments and work on the issues together! Have a talk on a day when you don’t have an argument. Tell your gf that you love her and that you want to make her happy. And see if she comes up with anything she is unhappy with that you can resolve together. Take one step at a time and see where you go from there.

  26. thanks i see that you av got
    thanks i see that you av got realy advices.ok am 20 and my boy is 27 we recently had an argument it was very tough bt it went 2 a point wen he told me its over bt he dnt hang up he was cryin and i was also cryin beterly we couldnt talk again. So i took the story to my mum en he talkd to hm en also 2 me its 2days since the argument bt i feel he is stl nt ok en sometymz i feel like he hates me plz help me

    1. Hi Mapenzi,

      Hi Mapenzi,
      give him some time. I takes time yo get over a big argument, and sometimes it takes a while for things to get normal again. Just keep communicating, don’t push him and just be there for him. Good luck!

  27. yes we argue alot at times bt
    yes we argue alot at times bt most tyms i fil guilty and apologise even when av nt wrongd her,i lv her so much 2 hurt her,i trust her bt am afraid i dnt like arguing,i dnt av a heart of argument,wen we argue she say alot,alot that hurts me bt i just go mute,later she denies having said that,am confused

    1. Hi Steve,

      Hi Steve,
      you are right, fighting can really hurt, and sometimes it feels easier just to say nothing. But in the long run, this won’t do you any good. You need to talk to your girlfriend about this. Tell her she hurts you with what she says and that you guys need to find a way to argue productively.

  28. i caught my bf cheating
    i caught my bf cheating,confronted him bt he denied n the gal too denied it!! i abused him n now we are separated.we r both emotionally hurt.

    1. Hi Racheal,

      Hi Racheal,
      sorry to hear about this! I can imagine you are hurt- finding your boyfriend cheating hurts a lot! Give yourself some time to get over him- even though it seems impossible right now, you will be fine in the end! Good luck!

  29. i talked to him n said
    i talked to him n said nothing going on btwn the two, nw his parents knew me n loves me so much n told me if i dvoc their son thy wil hate it mo n nw hv decided to end ths rshp cz i dont want stress any mo plz advice me

    1. Phioner,

      you need to make up your mind about this. We can’t help you decide if you want to end your relationship or not. One thing though: his parents and their opinions shouldn’t determine the way your relationship is going. Only you and your boyfriend can.

  30. I broke up with my bf due to
    I broke up with my bf due to some silly issure. Imagine tis s te first man in my after a long wait of smbdy to luv give my heart,soul$my body. Te pblm just came up we i needed time to read coz he was txtng me as i read i ask him to give me time to concentrt and took it negative. He ended up saying tat i said i need time to cnctrt, imagin saying tis to te frnds. Aftes all te luv he ended up dating te x_grlfnd, just taking kunishow madharau. Tis depresses me bt nt so much coz nt every ting tat shines s gold. Pals wat next shld i do? Give up ama? Pliz up lift my soul

    1. Hi Phabu,

      Hi Phabu,
      ouch! That’s indeed a silly thing! I think you should talk to him open and honestly. Explain what happened and that you miss him and you want to date him again and take it from there. If he agrees, great, if he doesn’t, it will hurt you, but at least you know what is going on. And please accept his decision. One thing though: him immediately going back to his ex is not a great sign.

  31. i have a b/f whom i used to
    i have a b/f whom i used to love so much i could go visit him at his beckon n he was not perfect but was the best thing for me, my whole family knew him, then i got a job n i had no more time to visit him as b4, i then asked him to come visit me n he said theaz no way he is going ti a ladys hauz to visit her tht it shoul be the other way round,t it hurt me n i told him fine, i stopped communicating n he thought it was a joke n never bothered for months! now from nowhere he is bugging me with phone calls n the other day he showed up at my place only informed me of his coming after he was already on the bus coming, i cant even bring maself to gv hm even a mare hug, the mare sight of incoming call from him irritates me to the bone, av given him all the signs but he refuses to let go, what do i do?

    1. Hi Len,

      Hi Len,
      you need to be clear once and for all. It might seem rude and hurtful, but he seems to not understand you. Tell him he hurt you, and that you are no longer interested in talking to him, taking his phone calls and him visiting you. And then stop taking his calls and text messages for a while. Hopefully, he will then get the point!
      Good luck!

  32. av been wid ma bf n his da
    av been wid ma bf n his da father of ma daughter a congolese am a kenyan but dont stay together he always says i dont cal him often am tired bcoz i told him sijazoe kupiga simu kila wakati si tabia yangu ten he gets mad.wat do i do coz i feel like leaving him.

    1. Hi Sony,

      Hi Sony,
      you need to make up your mind, we can’t really help you with deciding if you want to break up with your bf or not. Do you want him, yes or no? What needs to change in your relationship? You need to talk to him about it and tell him that he has to make an effort, otherwise this is the end of the relationship.

  33. wow,thank you 4 yow advces..
    wow,thank you 4 yow advces…at list nw gnr hundle my reletionshp.

    1. Hi Lyxi,

      Hi Lyxi,
      you are very welcome :-)!

  34. thnx 4 da gud advice,i broke
    thnx 4 da gud advice,i broke up wid him recently due to constant argument,bt sometimes it feels lyk its beta to walk away that puttin up wid false promises of sayin i ll change at da same tym he is doin da same mistake n claims that he loves u n i gt tired of it n nw am happy wid out him n i feel at ease than b4 ! thnx 4 da gud advice

    1. Hi Lucky,

      Hi Lucky,
      you are welcome! We are glad you are happy now :-). Stay happy!

  35. my boyfrd doesnt wnt to b my
    my boyfrd doesnt wnt to b my frd in fb,we lov eachother,we solve pronlms so wel n wen I visit his wal in fb using my frds account,therz nothing tht suggests he iz cheatng,we broke up once bcoz of fb n he gives tht as th rezon y he doesnt wnt to b ma frd,do I hav a rezon to wory?

    1. Hi Shantel,

      Hi Shantel,
      I understand why this bothers you, but it looks like you have nothing to worry about. It doesn’t look like he is cheating, and he has given you a reason. If your relationship is otherwise good, give the FB issue a rest. Be happy that you have a good guy who loves you and be happy you have a real friendship. That’s so much better than being friends on FB!

  36. Relationship needs maturity
    Relationship needs maturity of the mind. I had a boyfrnd who never believed i was faithful jst bcoz i was employed and taking part in modelling. I tried for a year unfortunately he became both physically and emotionally abusive and i had to quit.

    1. Hi Christine,

      Hi Christine,
      sorry to hear about your bad experience! You did the right thing!
      And you are right- functional relationships need maturity!

  37. i got this man who wen we
    i got this man who wen we fight n clearly hes the one on the wrong he wunt apologise he wants me to do so n i tired of this wots the best way forward?

    1. Hi Mrass,

      Hi Mrass,
      hmm, that’s tricky! Have you talked to him about this?
      Have you ever seen him argue with someone else? Does he do the same thing then?
      The thing is- nobody likes being wrong. And by getting you to apologize, he doesn’t have to admit that he is wrong, I think. It takes a lot of courage to say ‘you are right, I was wrong, sorry!’. He needs to learn this though, if he ever wants a functioning relationship.

  38. I hav a girl we luved each
    I hav a girl we luved each other since high school until we got married and we hav a kid but da problem iz she does not like me 2 go outside 2 met with my friendz does 2 my side 2 apply da same

    1. Hi Daniel,

      Hi Daniel,
      why doesn’t she want you to be with your friends? Have you ever asked her? Is she afraid you will cheat? Or that you are spending too much money on booze? Does she know your friends? You need to talk to her about this. Be honest, and listen to her arguments.
      Maybe it’s an idea to make some rules- both of you can go out one night a week with your friends, but you need to be home at a certain time, and for every evening either of you is out, you have to spend one evening of quality time with your partner.

  39. we argue alot with my
    we argue alot with my boyfriend for wat I dont know. small issues…n am the one bringing all ths arguments,he always listens to me wen I talk ov wat really annoys but later I find myslf stupid. at times I feel like he doesn’t really love me esp wen I txt n he takes 2-5 hrz b4 rpyn n alwayz soundz busy for me…it really makes me sick. I just find ths rltshp very complicated…but in real sense its not. evrythn seems just fine but am not. somethn is wrong smwea n I avnt discovered wat it is plz help me

    1. Hi Valencia,

      Hi Valencia,
      you don’t sound very happy. Are there other things in your life that bother you?
      Talk to your boyfriend about this. Tell him what you told us and ask him to help you find a solution. Also tell him if anything else is going on in your life that’s not working out. Your boyfriend is not just there for the fun times- he should be your partner who supports you when things are a bit rough.
      Good luck!

  40. i rarely fight wit my bf bt
    i rarely fight wit my bf bt wen it happens hes always the first to quit.n i ave to beg him to comeback even if i was not on the wrong.i knw he loves me bt i feel like hes too controlling.i need advce.

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      you need to talk to your boyfriend about this. Relationships are all about good communication, trust and honesty. You need to tell him what’s bothering you and you need to find a solution together. Don’t be accusing- that will not work out! Tell him that it hurts you when he quiets and that you don’t want to lose him, but that he also has to admit when he has been wrong. Tell him that he sometimes can be too controlling. Give specific examples and try to tell him what kind of reactions you would prefer instead. Good luck!

  41. I broke up wit ma patner a
    I broke up wit ma patner a year ago den a guy who i used 2 date sometimes back begged 4 a second chance ad i gav him.we oftenly urgue over minner issues,i fil like giving up again pls advice!!

    1. Hi Vero,

      Hi Vero,
      we can’t make up your mind for you, unfortunately. You have to figure out yourself if the minor things are major enough to make such a drastic decision. Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? Good communication is the key to a functioning relationship.
      Also, somehow I think you think you failed in your previous relationship- you need to get over that idea. Sometimes, relationships just don’t work out.

  42. thanks for the insight,but
    thanks for the insight,but unfortunately the people who do the don’t-ts don’ actually read this..and if they do,they don;t get it.

    1. Hi Phiellis,

      Hi Phiellis,
      haha, we are getting confused with all the do’s and dont’s there 🙂

  43. Hi doc, i had a fight with my
    Hi doc, i had a fight with my man, i felt like he was taking me for granted but he wouldn’t admit that we had a problem so i asked him to give me space…i love him and i want him back but how do i go back to him to resolve something that he doesn’t see as a problem?

    1. Hi Shiller,

      Hi Shiller,
      sorry to hear about that!
      You need to talk to your man about this again. Don’t tell him that you think he takes you fro granted, but take a certain behavior of his and explain to him how this makes you feel hurt and unloved. Try to find a solution together and talk, talk, talk. Communication is the key!
      Good luck!

  44. ur existance love matters,its
    ur existance love matters,its lyk wining an award.Ur of gret hlp.Thanx

    1. Thank you so much, Angelah!
      Thank you so much, Angelah! We are very happy to hear that, and we will do our best to keep it up!

  45. i’m fought with my gal she
    i’m fought with my gal she decide 2 conduct 2 my friends bt ave decide nt 2 turn up…,bt she tries 2 follow on my lives

    1. Hi John,

      Hi John,
      sorry, but we don’t quite understand- what’s the problem?

  46. There is this girl you feel
    There is this girl you feel you have fallen in love with..She is not talkative and you are the same.She sometimes come hv not known her felling.What can be done? How can you turn this into a good loving relation?

    1. Hi Nick,

      Hi Nick,
      baby steps! Take her hand at some point. She doesn’t pull away? Great! Ask her if you can kiss her, and see what she says. If both of you are a little shy, it might take a bit longer, but that’s okay! You should make sure that you do some talking though. Communicating is really important to find out what works in a relationship, and to hear how your partner is feeling.
      Good luck!

  47. we urgue almost evry day very
    we urgue almost evry day very petty isssues make me catch feelings so fast..i love him ad i kno he loves me too..what cld be happening.

    1. Hi Stella,

      Hi Stella,
      Have you talked about this? Especially if you always fight about the same things, the two of you need to find a solution for this problem together.

  48. hae,am in a relationship wid
    hae,am in a relationship wid dis guy bt i rily fear his attitude he is always harsh

    1. Hi Ivyn,

      Hi Ivyn,
      have you tried talking to him about this? If he is hurting you with this behavior, you need to discuss this. You need to work on a way of communicating that works for both of you. Good luck!

  49. my husband works away frm
    my husband works away frm home wen he calls at night has to ask who r u sleeping wt?if i say is ta baby he say let me hear how he is snorring.i need ua advise.

    1. Maryam,

      it sounds like he is insecure about something. Be understanding and open to him, but also let him know that he has nothing to worry about and that he needs to learn how to trust you.

  50. I Fought My Gal Recently En I
    I Fought My Gal Recently En I Luv Her Xo Much Z There Any Hopes To Be Bk Again I Love Her Mch

    1. Amos,

      have you tried talking to her, and have you tried to apologize? Give her some time to cool off, and then carefully approach the topic.

  51. nice piece…i just enjoyed
    nice piece…i just enjoyed reading it!

    1. We are glad to hear that!
      We are glad to hear that!

  52. my boyfriend loves me so much
    my boyfriend loves me so much, we both have met eachother’s parents.and he says he has never even mentioned a name of a girl and i know its true. but he has still cheated me with his ex girlfriend but he says that he can never give me up.
    he loved me before seeing that girl, but i was in relation with other that time. though he cheated i forgave him coz i realize how much i love him. but he doesn’t make me feel that he doesn’t want me to leave him. i still want him no matter what and i think he still does we tried talking but still i have this feeling. what shall i do?

    1. Hi Barbie sometimes its good
      Hi Barbie sometimes its good to also express to your partner ow you feel about a particular thing or situation to help you get it out of your chest.

      Time is also a healer and in time you might be able to forgive him completely if he earns your trust back.

  53. my x have been chasing after
    my x have been chasing after me for2 years now but am married with2 kids n my hb is cheatingwith his x.Should i quit coz i love my x since he was da 1 who paid my tuition.

    1. Hi Monic, that is a difficult
      Hi Monic, that is a difficult position for anyone to be in. You need to take time to think and decide what you want for yourself. Its a difficult decision but one that you have the ability to make.

  54. I’m in a reltinship BT my…
    I’m in a reltinship BT my boyfriend is not romantic,there is no time to cuddle,touching me but he does to other women.I just don’t uderstnd why.

  55. What if she says she can’t…
    What if she says she can’t stay at home alone cause she is fearing relatives??? Should I go ahead to marry such a person

  56. Bernard, It may help yo find…
    Bernard, It may help yo find out where this fear is coming from and then try and find a way to address it so that she is comfortable with the relatives. Forming new relationships maybe challenging but you can help her get comfortable with your relatives. Talk to her to find out where this is coming from then you can agree on how to proceed. If you are inlove then you will find a solution to this and keep the relationship.

    1. You are welcome Essy.

      You are welcome Essy.

  57. I always fight with my…
    I always fight with my boyfriend but instead of solving our differences he gives me a silent treatment like a week which I don’t like

    1. Hi, have you talked about…

      Hi, have you talked about this with him? It maybe useful to talk about this and agree that after an issue has been resolved none of you should give the other the silent treatment. On the other hand, having differences from time to time is normal but when it happens always it maybe a sign of deep seated issues that are unresolved. It is for this reason good that you find a good time and talk and find out what the issues are and then resolve them together. Have a look at the following article;-

  58. I realized my boyfriend is…
    I realized my boyfriend is dating someone else and now he is mad at me and choose the other girl over me,what should I do

    1. Hi Ann, 

      This is sad. So…

      Hi Ann, 

      This is sad. So sorry. The best thing to do is to move on with your life without him. He has already chosen another girl over you and that is a clear message he does not want to be with you. Also, the fact that he was angry at you for no apparent reason shows that he’s selfish and does not care about your feelings. Read this article to get more tips: Knowing When To Break Up

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