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Alphonce Omondi

Too shy to ask her on a date?

By Valentine Njoroge June 28, 06:00 am
There is this girl I really like, but I'm too shy to approach her. I really don't know how to ask her for a date. Please help me out.

Oh wow! We've all been there… Clever, smart, and funny with all the wrong people. And then we get in front of the person we like and our brain flees the building, leaving us stammering, sweating, and idiotic with the one person we really want to impress. If I had a confirmed cure for this I would be a billionaire…

I do have some suggestions though:

  • The first thing is to remember that she is really just a girl. Yes, you like her, but she is simply a girl. So stay calm.
  • Then try flirting with other women. I don't mean that you ask other people out or lead them on in anyway, but try smiling and complimenting women around you. Tell a waitress that you like her perfume and joke with the lady you get your groceries from. These positive interactions with women will boost your confidence and put you more at ease with the ladies.
  • Instead of asking your crush out on a full-on date, how about simply saying hello and starting a conversation? Most people will agree that this is half the battle as once you are talking you will find out what she likes, the kind of stuff she enjoys doing etc.
  • Once you are talking, perhaps you can invite her to hang out with your friends at some group activity? Perhaps a concert? Group activities will ease the tension and make it easier for you to be yourself, instead of sitting across from her in a coffee shop trying to make interesting conversation for an hour or two. Once you get to know her a little more through group activities, then you can ask her out on a one-on-one date and take it from there. Just remember that the more relaxed you are, the more you will shine and the higher your chances of success.

Any more tips in asking someone out? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on social media. You can find us at Love Matters Kenya and Love Matters Naija.

Did you learn something new?


Hey Whiz, do you mean you asked her to marry you or you approached her for a relationship? If you are uncertain about what her response was, you need to ask her so that she can clarify. You need to be open to the fact that she maybe interested in a relationship with you or she may not be. If she is unwilling you will have to respect that choice. We wish you all the best. 

Hey Luiz, there is nothing wrong with her asking for sometime to think about such a decision. But you may want to find out how much time she needs to think so that you know what to reach out her for answer and so that the wait is alittle easier. Try and find out. Lastly, she may say either yes or no and it is important that you prepare for both outcomes. 

Hi Timmy, unfortunately if a girl doesn't like you, you will have to respect their choice and move. This however doesn't mean that the next girl won't like, you just have to keep trying. Eventually, you will meet someone who will be interested. Have a look at the following article on dating;-

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