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Alphonce Omondi

Too shy to ask her on a date?

By Valentine Njoroge June 28, 06:00 am
There is this girl I really like, but I'm too shy to approach her. I really don't know how to ask her for a date. Please help me out.

Oh wow! We've all been there… Clever, smart, and funny with all the wrong people. And then we get in front of the person we like and our brain flees the building, leaving us stammering, sweating, and idiotic with the one person we really want to impress. If I had a confirmed cure for this I would be a billionaire…

I do have some suggestions though:

  • The first thing is to remember that she is really just a girl. Yes, you like her, but she is simply a girl. So stay calm.
  • Then try flirting with other women. I don't mean that you ask other people out or lead them on in anyway, but try smiling and complimenting women around you. Tell a waitress that you like her perfume and joke with the lady you get your groceries from. These positive interactions with women will boost your confidence and put you more at ease with the ladies.
  • Instead of asking your crush out on a full-on date, how about simply saying hello and starting a conversation? Most people will agree that this is half the battle as once you are talking you will find out what she likes, the kind of stuff she enjoys doing etc.
  • Once you are talking, perhaps you can invite her to hang out with your friends at some group activity? Perhaps a concert? Group activities will ease the tension and make it easier for you to be yourself, instead of sitting across from her in a coffee shop trying to make interesting conversation for an hour or two. Once you get to know her a little more through group activities, then you can ask her out on a one-on-one date and take it from there. Just remember that the more relaxed you are, the more you will shine and the higher your chances of success.
     

Any more tips in asking someone out? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on social media. You can find us at Love Matters Kenya and Love Matters Naija.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Gordon
Thu, 06/28/2018 - 09:14 pm
I feel ready for marriage, but the lady we have made an agreement with is not taking things serious,how can I make her understand my concern to her

Hey Gordon, you can do this by talking about how you feel she is taking things. You need to be honest about what you have seen and what it means to you. The marriage decision is mutual, you need to find out if she feels ready to make this move. It is important to recognize that she may not feel ready like you and if this is the case you will need to respect this choice. Find a good time and talk about this, find out why she does not feel ready if this is the case, you can then together work toward this. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/marriage/thinking-about-marriage/the-big-decision-how-do-i-know

There is a girl I go to same college with. I like her a lot but I don't know how to tell her. We say hi sometimes I think she is out of my league. Should I risk it all and tell her I like her?

Hey Pete, yes you should risk it all and tell her how you feel especially because you already relate. You will never know if she is interested unless you ask. Be brave, find a good time and tell her how you feel. If you are not confident enough to do this face to face, you can consider calling or texting. Remember, she may be feeling the same as you or not, and you will need to accept and respect her choice whichever it maybe. We wish you well. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/dont-sweat-over-asking-someone-out

https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/asking-someone-out-dos-and-donts

Anonymous
Wed, 07/18/2018 - 03:52 pm
The first time you meet someone new to you are likely to be shy but as you continue to relate you become more confident and relaxed around each other.
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