Two people embracing each other, him kissing her neck
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Is it love?

Love is a powerful, positive emotion. Like all emotions, you may experience it differently depending on your age, the relationship you're in, and the kind of person you are.

Loving someone isn’t the same as being in love with them.

Being in love is the intense feeling at the start of a relationship, when you only see the positive things about the other person and walk around with your head in the clouds. This feeling can be so intense it actually hurts – especially if the person doesn’t feel the same way about you.

The feeling of being in love develops over time, and becomes a deeper, steadier, tender feeling for the other person – you love them.

Love develops in stages, and doesn't always follow the same pattern. But in most cases love begins with the passion of sexual attraction, then the dreamy, overwhelming 'in love' stage, and finally the deeper attachment that develops over time and can last for years – sometimes for a lifetime.

Read also: 5 signs of healthy love

Are you in love?

When you’re in love, you think about the person you’re in love with all day. You think everything they do is wonderful. Being in love can make you feel on top of the world, but it can also make you nervous and edgy.

You get a strange, restless feeling when you see the person. You might even get stomach ache. You can’t help smiling. You don’t know what to say when you see them – or you talk too much because you’re trying to impress them.

If all this sounds familiar, you’re probably in love!

Scientists have tried to find out what makes us feel this way, and what happens to our brains when we're in love. They found that really does go to our heads: our bodies produce more of certain hormones like oxytocin, commonly known as the 'love hormone'.

Read also: 9 useful tips to talk to someone you like

Making love

Having sex is also called 'making love' because it's such an important part of a romantic or intimate relationship. But love and sex aren't the same thing – you can have one without the other. Many people only have sex with someone they love, but you can also have sex out of lust – just for the pleasure of having sex. Still, most people find deeper pleasure in having sex with the person they love.

Read more about making love.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
when i was dating my husband i love him and wil get married but now i did'not love he bcus my mind is tell me dat my husband have a girlfriend bcus of d way he is doing, he come home at 9it, and i have two baby for he i d'not kwn what to do,
If you know your partner well and have had a close, long-term relationship, you can often tell when something’s not right. You might notice that they’ve begun spending a lot more time at work, they have less time for you and your family, start taking calls in private, and seem less committed to doing things with you. Maybe they're paying attention to their looks, and they appear confused and detached. When you ask them if anything's wrong, they shrug off your question. Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damange the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation or divorce. You might spend days, weeks or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened. But don't blame yourself - take some time to calm down and think about your relationship. Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship? The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take. Read more here https://lovematters.co.ke/news/cheating-top-five-facts .
Hi i am wayne and i have been dating this girl that i love most, but now the problem come when we meet we must quarrel over something.. Are we ment to be
Hi Wayne, Arguments are a symptom of brewing discontent. If resolved at the right time they can bring you closer together, but brushing them under the carpet could be harmful to your relationship. Read more here https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/fights-relationships .
I have been inlove with a girl for 2years all my trust was in her, one day i tried to access her watsapp using my fon but i got that she had been dating other to men wen i was still with her....spending overnite with them to without me knowing.....my question is that how can i handle that.
Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damange the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation or divorce. You might spend days, weeks or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened. But don't blame yourself - take some time to calm down and think about your relationship. Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship? The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take.
gloria
Mon, 01/09/2017 - 11:28 pm
Somehow I got myself into a very complicated situation. I've been dating two guys for like two years now though I never knew the relationships were gonna last till now 'cause my intention initially was just to flirt. But now I want to be serious and I don't know what to do 'cause none of them is ready to let me go. I really don't know what to do. Please help me
Hi Gloria, This is one of those decision only you can make. Its not upto them but what you decide. You need to take time to think about who you feel is most ideal for you and then make a choice. All the best to you.
Hi i hav been dating a gal for 3 yrs now actually we started our r/ship when she was in form three since then we hav had sex only once after her kcse wen she was abt to join campus since then we hav bn talking on 4ne when i proposed to visit her in the campus she told me she is busy with exams she told me to wait n pass by house wen they close 4 dec holday but she neva did dat wen i kol her now she is at hme she tells me she is busy she will kol me back but she neva do that she is at hme but we hav neva met now ma big question is she really in lv with me or am just wasting ma time on her
The people you love are usually the ones you feel happiest with. They're the people you want to spend time with, who you couldn't bear to lose - the ones you really care about. If that is not your experience then its clear to see they are not really interested in the relationship. You need to take time to decide what steps you would want to take.
shakirah
Tue, 01/10/2017 - 09:04 am
Iam in deeply in luv with a guy Bt De guy doesn't luv me.He knows I luv him Bt he had a gf en has never told me he doesn't luv me, he just says we can't be together. Bt he still keeps me close. He broke with his gf cz she wz cheating. I then thought I might get a chance to hav him Bt still he ignores me en tells me to be friends. It really hurts me so much dat he doesn't luv me. And whenever I let go he brings me bac by texting me Wc gives me hope. I really dnt knw wat to do cz I luv dis guy crazily. Plz help me, wat shud I do.
Hi Shakirah, Genuine relationships are about honesty and openness. If he is already in another relationship its a clear indication of where his interests are. This maybe difficult to hear but if he ha genuine feelings for you and not his partner he would be in a relationship with you. Take time and think about it and then make an informed decision.
Christy
Tue, 01/10/2017 - 11:40 am
I'm in love with a man but he always turned me me down after 2years and go after another lady. I go to any length to b attracted but he doesn't appreciate that.
hi am in a rltshp bt the guy he seems he don't luv me, i do luv him bt i av chnge my mind too leave him ad move on wth life ad i wil gt smeone whu wil give mre attntn morethn him I nid advice plz
marley
Tue, 01/10/2017 - 02:55 pm
am 18 and am worried because i am in love with a 26 woman and she also admit it to me that she love's me and she also tells me she will give me everythink i want if i agree to be in a relationship with her..give me an advise pliz
Esther
Tue, 01/10/2017 - 06:26 pm
Am in love wit dis guy,although he do say he love me bt I don't knw if he really does.I can't bear to loose him.hw do I knw if he really love me
Hoyinda
Tue, 01/10/2017 - 08:45 pm
I met a guy 7mnth after he engage thou i didnt knw until i go tru hz fb profile n i wanted to let go bt he hold on 2me n we av been datin 4 two yrs nw n he want us to marry bt am worried cox he already has a wife n am nt willing to b a 2nd wife thou i lov him n i get hurt anytym he talks abt hz wife n child pls advice me mayb i shuld marry him or nt
Hi, It sounds like you are not sure about what you want. You should take time to think and decide what it is you want for yourself. If you feel yo will not be comfortable as a second wife then you have to think about ending the relationship. If you feel you love him enough and do not mind being a second wife then you should take up his proposal. All the best to you.
i have this guy and i love him so much and he loves me to and promising to marry me bt his ex keeps on calling and this ex loves him so much and when i ask him abwt the gal he tells me that they are just passing time,have tried my best to leave them continue with there relationship coz it hurts so much bt the guy is not ready to leave me and at the same time he wants to be with the other gal,,,,wat can i do to solve this coz want to remain alone with him
Hi Nada, It sounds like your partner is in a relationship with two people which is actually considered cheating. The choice is ultimately yours on whether you want to be in that kind of relationship or not. Find out more here https://lovematters.co.ke/news/cheating-top-five-facts .
john laban
Wed, 01/11/2017 - 07:26 am
love or infatuation!!! am in love with lady but she tells me am only wasting my time...it hurts but cannot let her go...my love for her is so strong but she only wants friendship...what should i do???? is she worth it
Hi John, Sorry that the person you are in love with does not feel the same about you. Check out this article to learn how to deal with that situation https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/dealing-with-rejection .
Bonswaq
Wed, 01/11/2017 - 12:09 pm
Am in love with a girl of my age...but dnt know how i will openly tell her that am in love with her,though she feels it sometimes about how i felt. Advise me on how to tell her,pls
love is a beautiful thing when you both understands each other so guys look well and think twice before you decide whom to date or marry.. thanks
Josephine
Fri, 01/13/2017 - 01:08 am
is now 5 month into our relationship everything is just OK but I told my boyfriend I would like us to stay totally away from sexual activities like kissing so that we can bring up our communication and he agreed . we have not had sex and we don't plan too until marriage. are we doing the right thing? ....is wrong to caution our relationship?
I have a girlfriend whom i love very much and i promised to marry her,she is at university completing soon but me i completed only A'LEVEL she said she loves me but she can't marry me becoz her relatives may not accept becoz am less educated compared to her.we are all born again and father is a pastor we cant hav sex before marriage. what can i do?
saddy ekpo
Fri, 01/13/2017 - 04:14 pm
am in a relationship,i luv dis guy n he luvs me too but secretly he is cheating,one day he dropped his phone without quiting his chat,so wen i opened the phone i was shock,but i pretend seeing nothing, after so tym i asked him watsup,he told me dat he is nt cheating. pls advice me
Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damange the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation or divorce. You might spend days, weeks or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened. But don't blame yourself - take some time to calm down and think about your relationship. Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship? The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take. Find out more here https://lovematters.co.ke/news/cheating-top-five-facts .
I have been Heart broken by girl I loved so much I found her in guys house and they and they will break up and for the day I found her up to now I am still single it has been passed like 5 month now she is back begging me to 4 give her what will I do? Plz help
Hi Gody, Whether you want to get back with your partner depends on a number of things. Are you willing to go on? If you are, what will it take for her to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship? The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take.
My bf n i have a bby gal.bt since i gt pregnant he has nt bn helping me.nw the baby is almost a yr..he claim to lov both of us.bt he dsnt cal nor sms.he do sms once in a while telling me hd loves ur.i dnt blv him.what should i do..to leav him n forget cz he gives alot of excuse..advice please.i dnt knw what to do
Hi Alice, This maybe difficult to hear but it sounds as though he's not interested in that relationship. You can choose to have a talk with him about it and if you feel like its not working you always have the option of leaving the relationship. Take time and think about it.
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