Two people embracing each other, him kissing her neck
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Is it love?

Love is a powerful, positive emotion. Like all emotions, you may experience it differently depending on your age, the relationship you're in, and the kind of person you are.

Loving someone isn’t the same as being in love with them.

Being in love is the intense feeling at the start of a relationship, when you only see the positive things about the other person and walk around with your head in the clouds. This feeling can be so intense it actually hurts – especially if the person doesn’t feel the same way about you.

The feeling of being in love develops over time, and becomes a deeper, steadier, tender feeling for the other person – you love them.

Love develops in stages, and doesn't always follow the same pattern. But in most cases love begins with the passion of sexual attraction, then the dreamy, overwhelming 'in love' stage, and finally the deeper attachment that develops over time and can last for years – sometimes for a lifetime.

Read also: 5 signs of healthy love

Are you in love?

When you’re in love, you think about the person you’re in love with all day. You think everything they do is wonderful. Being in love can make you feel on top of the world, but it can also make you nervous and edgy.

You get a strange, restless feeling when you see the person. You might even get stomach ache. You can’t help smiling. You don’t know what to say when you see them – or you talk too much because you’re trying to impress them.

If all this sounds familiar, you’re probably in love!

Scientists have tried to find out what makes us feel this way, and what happens to our brains when we're in love. They found that really does go to our heads: our bodies produce more of certain hormones like oxytocin, commonly known as the 'love hormone'.

Read also: 9 useful tips to talk to someone you like

Making love

Having sex is also called 'making love' because it's such an important part of a romantic or intimate relationship. But love and sex aren't the same thing – you can have one without the other. Many people only have sex with someone they love, but you can also have sex out of lust – just for the pleasure of having sex. Still, most people find deeper pleasure in having sex with the person they love.

Read more about making love.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
how do you know someone really loves you? there is this chic who tells me she loves me but I have only known her for a month
Anonymous
Tue, 07/28/2015 - 05:54 pm
i HV understood BT how can i know if a girl can deep in my hrt coz this is my first time to lk for mg first girlfrnd and the LST word from her is that she what me to describe 20eaning of love
Iam So Complicated I Have Been Relationship 4 3months Bt The Way She Is Nowdaiz Is Not Like The Beginning.If I Started Talk 2 Her He Keep Silent Without Talking 2 Me N It Spend Most Of His Time 2 Chat With Other People N Delete The Inbox My Que Is This Is There Matumaini Ya Kuoa Hyu Ama Nidivorse
Denis Kenia
Fri, 08/28/2015 - 04:55 pm
My boo is in Bm.4 we are Ok! that We love one another. But I kind of feeling uncomfortable because am not sure whether it's real love or it's just a by the way thing? I usually call sometimes my call becomes dropped down or busy. Every man wants a woman for himself a woman who's suprisingly even if I understand She's in form four I could have expecting her to pick the call and tell me She's busy with her studies I should chill out for a moment. Help guys is this fair?
Denis Kenia
Fri, 08/28/2015 - 07:17 pm
My boo is in Bm.4 we are Ok! that We love one another. But I kind of feeling uncomfortable because am not sure whether it's real love or it's just a by the way thing? I usually call sometimes my call becomes dropped down or busy. Every man wants a woman for himself a woman who's suprisingly even if I understand She's in form four I could have expecting her to pick the call and tell me She's busy with her studies I should chill out for a moment. Help guys is this fair?
Hey.. I've been married for more than 15 years but I've never feel impressed by him. I've never enjoyed love for He's a very harsh guy and hot tempered. He's my first man and I've never hurt his feelings. In bed he even sometimes elect before penetration. Thou I've no experience of how far or how people feel in sex, he leave me hanging all the time. What do I do? Is this real love? And what is sex and how do I reach to organism?
Flo, that's a lot of issues you are bringing up... How do you feel about your relationship? Is this something you are struggling with to the extent that you are not sure if you want to continue?
maureene
Thu, 11/12/2015 - 02:46 pm
Hi..we've been dating for now 3 years..last week my man found some suggestive texts on my phone...he's now mad and calling off the realionship...I love him what can I do..pliz help
stanclouses
Mon, 11/23/2015 - 11:46 pm
I love agirl since we were in high school two years to complete the KCSE.I loved him so much and promised to marry me, but for now she stays in Eldoret and i in Nairobi bt through phone communications she tells me to keep the promise. Since 2012 to date, is she realy in love with me?
I am inlove with lady whom I later fiund out that she is a widow with two kids and I am a mmarried man and we started our relationship without telling ourselves the truth. She has found out that I am married man and still dating me and I also found out that she is a mother of two children and I love her so much because am not happy with marriage. What do I do.
Hi Ben, that's a complex situation to be in. You say you are unhappy in your Marriage whats cousing the unhappiness? You need to evaluate your relationship and find out the problem. If its something that can be solved and you are still interested in the relationship that will be good. If you still feel your marriage is still not worth being in then you will have to decide on what you want and the way forward. All The best.
I'm in love with this lady (21 years old) for two years know when I tell her about dating, she says that her mother can't allow her to leave the house plz advice me on what to do.
tabbie'
Tue, 01/12/2016 - 12:50 am
hi' i felt in lav wid a guy' then we parted 4 some reasons wich made me suffered soo much' last yr i met the same guy' en he iz asking 2 marry me' ' do i gramb the oppotunity or do i let it go?
Hi Tabbie thanks for writing to us. Sorry for going through that pain. People break up and some times make up, that is normal. The decision always rests with them. You will have to decide what you want first and then do it. If you decide that you want to be back with him it would be wise to take you time and get to learn him afresh. Its wise to deal with the past issues and rekindle the love first before going into marriage. If you feel that he's not the person for you all you need to do is move on with your life. All the best.
Hi Abdi, you need to discuss it with her. Any decision you make about your religion should be yours and not from anyone else. There are many relationships of people in different religions and they work. Talk with her and decide what you want to do.
Lavino Violah
Sun, 05/22/2016 - 06:20 am
Yes Indeed love is a feeling....wenever I come accross my boylover ma desiney characters change,ma soulmate.....and am left wit nothing but loving him back
Posh silver
Wed, 07/06/2016 - 08:06 pm
I have a fiance that we have been passing through difficulties time in our relationship but we always manage to solve! But now a days a see like he dont appriciate anything i do to him i asked him he said nothing! My question is what should i do to make him do like past days??
Patrickson
Thu, 10/20/2016 - 01:49 am
I have a girl who we have been dating for 2 years,we had an unprotected sex and she got pregnant,she intended to abort the pregnancy buh I said no she did that without my knowledge which got me bored.She took that to be an excuse and broke up with me buh I really love her and want to be with her the rest of my life buh she always tell me she is dating .what should I do cuz I really love her
Hi Pat, Sorry for what you are going through. But it sounds like she has moved on. You need to take time and think about what you want to do and then take action. I hope you are able to make an informed decision. All the best to you.
I'm married for two yrs,BT my husband is pushing with another chick I do love my husband so very much and am now pregnant....they have been in relationship for 8 months now...am desperate because I love him with all my hrt.....now I really don't know what to do... Plzzzz help me
mildred
Sun, 11/06/2016 - 08:11 pm
there is this man I love from inside but he is not submissive and there is one again who loves me he can to anything to be with me but I don't love him although we see each other.. am confused pls help..should I continue with the caring one or the other one that i love
Hi, I proposed to this lady two years ago but she said she wasn't ready. Now we are close and am afraid of asking her again but I love her. Any advice?
Hi code, Did she explain what she meant by not being ready then? If she did do you think anything has changed? If so do not let fear keep you from asking her again. If you don't ask you will never find out.
Hi Rammah, having issues in a relationship is a normal thing. But what's important is how to deal with them and become better as a couple. Here are tips on how to deal with relationship issues https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/relationship-problems . https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/fights-relationships .
antony
Thu, 12/15/2016 - 04:20 pm
am in lov with my gf BT the problem is she says that she lov me BT when I asked her to hve sex she refused,, and say we can stay an till we get married,,is there a true lov??
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