Two people embracing each other, him kissing her neck
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Is it love?

Love is a powerful, positive emotion. Like all emotions, you may experience it differently depending on your age, the relationship you're in, and the kind of person you are.

Loving someone isn’t the same as being in love with them.

Being in love is the intense feeling at the start of a relationship, when you only see the positive things about the other person and walk around with your head in the clouds. This feeling can be so intense it actually hurts – especially if the person doesn’t feel the same way about you.

The feeling of being in love develops over time, and becomes a deeper, steadier, tender feeling for the other person – you love them.

Love develops in stages, and doesn't always follow the same pattern. But in most cases love begins with the passion of sexual attraction, then the dreamy, overwhelming 'in love' stage, and finally the deeper attachment that develops over time and can last for years – sometimes for a lifetime.

Read also: 5 signs of healthy love

Are you in love?

When you’re in love, you think about the person you’re in love with all day. You think everything they do is wonderful. Being in love can make you feel on top of the world, but it can also make you nervous and edgy.

You get a strange, restless feeling when you see the person. You might even get stomach ache. You can’t help smiling. You don’t know what to say when you see them – or you talk too much because you’re trying to impress them.

If all this sounds familiar, you’re probably in love!

Scientists have tried to find out what makes us feel this way, and what happens to our brains when we're in love. They found that really does go to our heads: our bodies produce more of certain hormones like oxytocin, commonly known as the 'love hormone'.

Read also: 9 useful tips to talk to someone you like

Making love

Having sex is also called 'making love' because it's such an important part of a romantic or intimate relationship. But love and sex aren't the same thing – you can have one without the other. Many people only have sex with someone they love, but you can also have sex out of lust – just for the pleasure of having sex. Still, most people find deeper pleasure in having sex with the person they love.

Read more about making love.

Did you learn something new?

Comments

Hi Michael, thank you for reaching out to us. Different people could go silent for various reasons. The best thing to do is to have an open and honest conversation with her. Try and find out what the problem could be. Explain to her what her actions are doing to you and how they affect the relationship as well.

Hello it's my first time here would be glad if my question is been addressed ok. Theirs this guy asking me out actually he wants me to be his girlfriend and I love him but I said no to him because am scared of getting hurt have never been in any relationship because of fear though the fear of being used and dumped what do u think I need to do

Hello Nexcy, thank you for reaching out to us. It is understandable that you would be scared since this is something new. Your fear is valid and to protect yourself and your feelings it would be best to take things slow. Trust your instincts and always try to talk things out. Do not ignore your gut feelings and question things that happen in the relationship. Do not let anyone pressure you into doing things you are not comfortable with, especially with your body. At the end of the day, we miss 100% of the shots we do not take.

Favour
Thu, 04/23/2020 - 10:01 pm
Have been in love but when it get to some stages the character of my partner changes ,please what causes it cause I tries asking but he will say nothing

Hi Favour, thank you for reaching out to us. It is understandable that you may be a little frustrated by your partner's changing mood.
Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive. Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.

Markay
Sat, 04/25/2020 - 09:55 pm
I have been dating this guy knowing fully well he has serious relationship and am in love with him and I really don't want to come between him and his girlfriend, but I can't help but get sad when I think about, am trying to cut off from him but I just can't What can I do

Hi Markay, thank you for reaching out to us. I understand that you might be feeling a little frustrated with the whole situation right now. You really need to make the decision for yourself. What do you want for yourself? What do you want for your future? Do you think this person will be able to deliver this future or help you build it?

Hello Love, love presents in different ways. We all have love Languages. These are ways in which we express love for our loved ones. These love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

This article has more information on these love languages and how they present. Go through it and find out if you understand your partner's Love Language
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/do-you-speak-the-right-language-when-it-comes-to-love

Seeing your lovely message warms our heart Imuran, Azeezat is very lucky to have a husband like you. We hope you are having a wonderful ramadhan and are keeping safe. Have a wonderful week ahead and keep being an inspiration to all the husbands out there.

Hi Prisca, thank you for reaching out to us. The article says " Love develops in stages, and doesn't always follow the same pattern. But in most cases love begins with the passion of sexual attraction, then the dreamy, overwhelming 'in love' stage, and finally the deeper attachment that develops over time and can last for years – sometimes for a lifetime"

This article also speaks of Love Languages which is how love presents.

https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/do-you-speak-the-right-language-when-it-comes-to-love

Peculiar
Mon, 07/27/2020 - 10:34 pm
Hmmm you are right But am in love with someone who doesn't even care about me like he didn't know that i love him pls what can i do

Hi Peculiar, thank you so much for reaching out to us. So sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. If you feel that he does not care for you or love you, then have a conversation with him about it. Talk to your partner about how you feel and how you feel the relationship is affected as well.

Hello Chelimo, you have asked a really good question. Love presents in different ways. We all have love Languages. These are ways in which we express love for our loved ones. These love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

This article has more information on these love languages and how they present. Go through it and let us know if you still have any questions.
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/do-you-speak-the-right-language-when-it-comes-to-love

Dennis Mburu
Fri, 09/18/2020 - 07:50 am
Hi am Dennis and i have been in luv with a married girl.The first day i met her i told her she confuses me and she asked me if i am in luv with her and i told her yes she was happy and she told her friends am her bf later i learnt she was married. Now we eat with one spoon cares 4 me if i have not washed my face she tells me 2 wash it.When she cooks food she gives me and i can touch every part of her and she never complains if am sick she feels sad i need help plz

Thank you Jewel for your wonderful sentiment. Please feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

Vinnie
Wed, 12/30/2020 - 01:27 am
I have a girlfriend whom i want to marry and she's a campus student we've been staying with her for seven months i cheated on her and she knew it but didn't tell me anything until when she went back to school and told me everything then she cheated me too once.. When she return have her behavior has changed tottaly ...she dont want to kiss me any more but fucking her is not problem but im insecure of her bt i really loves her what should i do to bring back our first am confused

Hello Vinnie, thank you for getting in touch with us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. When a partner discovers that you are cheating on them, especially when they were fully committed and in love with you, this can destroy the trust you once both shared, and more importantly, you can understand why they would not want to be kissed by you, let alone have sex with you. If your partner has cheated on you or you have cheated on them, or both, it’s normal that you suffer from trust issues. But there are ways to recover and have a healthy relationship yet again. Here’s how…

https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

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