Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

How to wait for love

By Valentine Njoroge July 22, 10:53 am
I am lonely and need a man. But I don’t fall in love. Is that normal?

Lonely vs in need of a man?

I think you will find that if you look around, you belong to a well-populated club. That said, being lonely and needing a man are two different things. Loneliness is really the feeling of being unknown and unseen.

I am sure that there are people who you love and who love you back – people for whom you are sunshine personified.

How about spending more time with them? How about letting them see and know more of you? How about sharing that you are lonely and asking them to step in and do things that you are looking forward doing with a partner? Perhaps you are dreaming of travelling with your future partner, so how about a trip with the girls or even a male friend?

You can live without a man

It’s true that life partners offer something unique and they share our lives in a way that friends and even family cannot. However, we sometimes place such high emphasis on what that relationship can offer that we miss out on what friendships with those who love us can bring us. So how about while you are single and 'not falling in love', you give these relationships a chance to grow and fulfil you in other ways?

You are in a great space

Yes, it’s perfectly normal not to fall in love. It’s also fantastic that you know yourself well enough to acknowledge your loneliness and not settle for 'faking it' with someone you are not in love with. Dating is a game wherein you get to say 'no' a lot, and people get to say 'no' back to you. So get used to saying 'no' until someone comes along to inspire a definite and very loud 'YES!'


Do you have more tips on playing the waiting game while waiting for your love to come along? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook. You can reach us at Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
I'm in lov wit agal hu i realy lov mxt ,bt she kip on b in blue(moodless) en wen i tlk 2 ha she dn't respond @ll nor 2 fidbck ma txts bt wen i ask ha weta she lovx mi she says yes ,elp mi coz i'm confussed weta iz true she lovx mi,,
Anonymous
Wed, 11/19/2014 - 02:34 pm
I had broken up with my x 4mnths ago bt stl luved him..I had 2 lv wea i ws and start my lyf again in nai so as to get over hm bt invain...We talked recently n he told me that he wil luv me til the end of tym n it wl dpnd on my dcsn n plans if we cn stl b 2gthr....could this be real love dat we r expriencing or could he be my mr right
Nicelasher
Wed, 11/19/2014 - 06:44 pm
Am in a rship 4 3yrs now but i stil don fil dat lv n care from my patna.Any other tym i ask 4 an outing,she always gives rizons dat on my perspective r not satisfactory n i end up doubting her luv.Wot shud i do 2 make her more comited in our luv?
levina
Tue, 12/23/2014 - 11:11 pm
Av been dating a guy for two months then I moved in with him.we were in love.we had a big fight and broke up.he has never called or txt .i miss him its been nine weeks.his slept with twelve girls its killing me.how do I get him out of my heart?
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