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Cheating and infidelity

Cheating means breaking the rules you have agreed on in a committed relationship. Usually cheating refers to sexual infidelity or adultery.

If you're making out or having sex with someone outside of your committed relationship, it means you’re cheating on your partner.

Cheating doesn’t always have to be sexual. Sometimes cheating is on an emotional level. When someone shares intimate thoughts with a person who’s not their partner, it’s called emotional cheating.

Cheating of any form can cause a lot of sorrow in relationships and can even lead to break-up or divorce.

Find out more about cheating in our Cheating: top five facts.

Why do people cheat?

There are many reasons why people cheat on their partners. You might cheat if you don’t love your partner any more, if sex isn’t satisfying, if your partner has cheated on you in the past, or if you feel neglected or under-appreciated.

Lying to your partner about your affairs can be a stop-gap arrangement, but it’s very likely that sooner or later your partner will discover the truth. If you feel guilty about having cheated and don't want to end your relationship, confessing might be an option. You could also keep quiet about what happened, although the lack of honesty could put a strain on your relationship.

If you've cheated and decided you want to end it with your partner, there are two options – to confess your behaviour and say goodbye or to hide your infidelity and say you want to break up for other reasons.

Is your partner cheating on you?

If you know your partner well and have had a close, long-term relationship, you can often tell when something’s not right. You might notice that they’ve begun spending a lot more time at work, they have less time for you and your family, start taking calls in private, and seem less committed to doing things with you. Maybe they're paying attention to their looks, and they appear confused and detached. When you ask them if anything's wrong, they shrug off your question.

Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damage the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation, or divorce. You might spend days, weeks, or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened.

But don't blame yourself – take some time to calm down and think about your relationship.

Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship?

The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take.

Did you learn something new?

After breaking up from what? it depends on the nature and of what you broke up from and reasons why, there are situations which you might appreciate its better you broke up and there are others you might regret why you did so, for example if you broke up from an abusive violent relationship what's there to regret about? it will be good riddance! but in the situation where you are the cause of the breakup then you might regret and its normal to want time alone after breakup in order to forge a move on!
Hi love matters my boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me n got another lady pregnant just after I had given birth to our dota now he's back in my life claiming he loves only me but the other chick calls him constantly n av started having doubts he tells me he has nothing to do with her but I feel there's something what do I do?
Hi Nina, take some time away from him and think about what you want. Do you think you will be able to trust him again? Do you think he will do it again? How is he going to deal with the other woman, and his other child? Think about all these things, and make your decision based on that. Good luck!
We appreciate your contribution Erick. This is a boyfriend and nothing allows for forced sex, not even in marriage. Partners should agree when and even how to have sex otherwise it could be considered sexual violence in a relationship. We do appreciate your contribution though.
She has password all over her phone... Messages... call log gallery... And she always put her phone inside her bag... Is she cheating or hiding something
Hi Kevin, privacy is a good thing. Even if she has nothing to hide, you shouldn't even consider going through her phone. Do you love her, and trust her? Yes- great. No- then you need to start working on that.
what u meet ur first girlfriend n she says tht she loves u n wante u to leave the girl u heard then after sometimes she is not active in ur communication n she claims tht she as been looking for u quit sometime n she is greatful she as got me now she want us to get married is this a true love
Hi Dan, communication is the most important part of any relationship, and it seems this needs some improvement in yours. Unless you both openly say what you feel, need and want, your relationship won't have a future.
any tym we meet she tend to leave all dox shez wid includin men and acompaniz me to wereva am goin to buh wen i tel her dat i lav her,she telx me dat she had bin tryin to lav me buh she find it vry dificult to do xo.wat do u tnk ix di mata
i hav been datin a man for a yr. we had alot of dixagreemnt and i dcidd 2 keep xylnt 4 xmetym. we could rearly meet afta a week a gal came claiming 2b pregnant wid hm, da parentx of da galx 4cd da gal 2 xtay wid ma boyfrnd i xtl luv hm n i fynd hard 2 move on da guy is sory n claim 2 xtl luv me wat xhud i du am confuxd
Tue, 01/27/2015 - 04:09 am
pls is there a way for me to gt ova ma jealousy ova ma finance? i do trust her bt i always feel some kinda little jealousy wen eva shes with anoda guy.
jeff austine
Sun, 02/01/2015 - 05:01 pm
hy..ma girlfriend ix suspecious,,jax rezently a read ha text cox a wax wd ha 4 lunch,,and arealizd her ex ix texting ha,,and she wrote that shex single and we togetha,,hw do atel that shex nt cheating by nw,,bt i hav nt askd ha wat do i do???
take you time remember in love u need to be smart before saying im done.what she is doing you might be doing so if not so,the longer you stay the more you come to see changes in both of you
jeff austine
Sun, 02/01/2015 - 05:03 pm
hy..ma girlfriend ix behaving wierd..jax rezently a read ha text wen i was wth ha 4 lunch,,and arealizd her & EX CHATING,,and she wrote that shex single and yet we togetha,,hw do atel that shex nt cheating by nw,,bt i hav nt askd ha wat do i do???
Jeff, first things first: reading someone else's texts is not good. It's an invasion of their privacy. What would you say if someone was reading yours? Next, have you talked to her? Have you asked her if she is cheating? Don't be accusing, ask her in a quiet moment, and see what she says.
hi! I have I have a girlfriend av been dating for one year now. She loves me and I too love her. She recently went back to school for better a grade and this means I'll miss her for quite long. When she calls me, she says she is doubting if I cant cheat on her. I had assured her of my love but she can't be free in mind. I suspect these negative feelings may eventually loose her interest in me. Advice me please
James, long distance relationships are hard, and they require a lot of hard work from both partners. Good communication is one thing. Start by asking her what she needs from you to feel safe that you are not cheating, Good luck!
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